Sea Lion!

I'm up to my eyeballs in magazines.  I've always subscribed to a couple of magazines (Entertainment Weekly and Esquire are the two I pay for at the moment), but last fall I received a notice from United Airlines that I was about to lose a chunk of frequent flier miles, and they said I could redeem them for magazines before they expired.  So, I did.  I went from receiving two magazines, one weekly, one monthly, to receiving SEVEN.  And I'm here to tell you, that's too many.

I think I've discovered that, if you're gonna get that many magazines, you need to stick to ones that can be read in short bursts.  The one that gives me the most trouble these days (that is, the one that takes longest to get through, thus making my enormous pile of unread magazines grow ever higher) is The Atlantic.  This is not a magazine you skim.  It's serious, it's well-written, it's in-depth.  And it makes me a little crazy as I sit there reading fifteen-page articles about topics I don't particularly care about.  Still, I try to read these magazines cover-to-cover.  I've also been getting Conde Nast Traveler (I had a limited array of titles to choose from when United contacted me, and I went for a broad range of topics), which is a good magazine, but HUGE.  It's like getting a little encyclopedia in the mail each month.  That one takes forever to get through, too, but for different reasons.  It's because it usually does have articles I want to read, but wow, so many pages.  Wired Magazine is pretty great, actually.  I enjoy it quite a lot.  But again, it's semi-thick, and it just takes a long time to do it justice.  I could see myself subscribing to it with my own money someday, though.  The fourth magazine I've been getting for "free" is some random golf magazine.  I really, really like golf.  I used to play multiple times a week.  I got to the point where I was even fairly decent.  Not great by any means, but you know, I shot fairly regularly in the 80's, at least.  With a little work, I could have been actually pretty good, I imagine.  I shot 1 over par for nine holes on at least one occasion.  But yeah, now I haven't played in two years, I guess.  Which is too bad.  I miss it sometimes.  And I have nice golf clubs!  So I've been getting that magazine.  It's not bad.  I've rarely known so much about new courses opening in the western part of Scotland, I must say.  And that one takes very little time to get through.  And finally, I've been receiving Blender.  I can't decide what I think of it.  This is my second free subscription to that magazine (the first was really free; not sure who sent it to me or why), and yeah, it was good enough, apparently, for me to sign up a second time.  Half of it kinda sucks, because I honestly couldn't possibly care less about some of the musicians they profile.  But I have found some good songs because of them, and there's always something useful there.  And it takes NO time to "read."  Very little reading involved.  And they do profile people I like sometimes.  Like, in the issue I've been looking at today, they ask Ingrid Michaelson (who yes, I do like) some questions to find out if she "rocks" or not.  They do this each issue with someone new.  The questions are like, "have you ever trashed a hotel room?"  Or "do you have a stripper pole in your house?"  Which are dorky questions in general, and they suck if you're talking to, you know, 50 Cent, but ask those questions to Ingrid Michaelson, and they become kinda fun.  She likes to "tidy up" hotel rooms when she leaves instead, she says.  And she lives with her parents.  So no pole.  I don't know, I enjoyed that, ha.  And that kinda sums up what I do like about Blender.  It's not at all mentally taxing (unlike the articles I read in The Atlantic about the global clash of Islam and Christiantity), and some of it's dumb fun.  So, yeah.

I've already found two songs today that I rather love thanks to Blender, one directly, one indirectly.  It makes me think that, if I could just corral a couple more (at least a dozen more), I might be able to whip up a mix CD.  I haven't done that in a while!  Hmmmmm.  And if I do that, Blender will totally prove worth all that money I spent on it (ha, haaaa).

So yeah, my advice with magazines is, don't get seven at a time.  It's fun getting them in the mail, less fun when you end up with a (no exaggeration) two-and-a-half foot stack of unread mags in your closet.  And if you do get seven magazines, make them mostly monthlies.  And fluffy.  Because it's gonna take you a while to get through that Atlantic article about asteroids hurtling toward the planet.  You'll be a better person for reading it, but you may be happier reading something fluffy about Taylor Swift or the best way to see Baja on a budget.  Or maybe that's just me.

I think it says a lot about how I feel about American Idol this season that, the day after watching David, David, Syesha and Jason perform as the top 4, I just spent fifteen minutes watching Brooke White talk to EW.com, and I spent another few minutes last night watching her talk to Carly Simon on Fox News (which was so awesome, and soooo aww-worthy; I loved that!).  I think, in some ways, a good half, maybe two-thirds of my enthusiasm for this season died with Brooke's departure last week.  She was THE one I wanted to win.  And YET, much as I feel like seeing someone like Noelle leave early on The Bachelor is a really, really good thing for Noelle (because "winning" that show is ... not usually such a great thing), I feel like Brooke being knocked out when she was was probably a very good thing for her, too.  There's more of a chance this way that she'll get to record her own kind of album without the Idol machine meddling and forcing her into some kind of watery pop radio slot.  This way, perhaps she'll get to do something really cool and, yes, Carly Simon-y or Carole King-y, which is who she is.  It's what she ought to be doing.  She's great at that kind of music.  BUT, still, not having her around this week is a bummer.  I do really like David Cook.  Not as much as I liked Brooke, but he's really, really good.  He'll be a hit on the radio.  I have no doubt.  He's inventive.  His "Baba O'Riley" was too short, but so good last night.  And it seems he may be a Royals fan, which is awesome!  Hee.  The other David, eh.  I think he's a nice kid, and he's a fine singer, but he just sings every song exactly the same, and it's just not interesting to me.  Syesha is a better performer than I realized, and she can certainly sing, but I can't really get excited about her, either.  She's like the one throwback idol this season, singing the kind of stuff we usually hear on the show (not my kind of music).  So while she's fine, again, eh.  I don't know.  And I've liked Jason since I first saw him, but the last two weeks, I've finally lost interest.  I've begun to feel annoyed by him.  I mean, I really, really did like him once.  His "Hallelujah" was great.  His "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," not bad at all.  But now he's phoning it in, I don't think he cares, the effort is lacking, and when I think of how Brooke or Michael Johns or Kristy Lee Cook or any number of other departed idols would have REALLY given it their all had they made it to the top 4, yeah, Jason's piddly twee crap just starts to bug.  So yep, this was all about Brooke for me, and it's just not the same now.  Oh, well.  Go David Cook!  If he were to go home (I don't think he will), I don't know if I could keep watching.

I do think it's amazing that someone who sings like Brooke (I loooooove her voice, everything about it) made it this far on American Idol.  I'll take Carly Simon any day of the week over Whitney Houston and Celine Dion.

You know, it's nice when your team has a sucky player, particularly a sucky pitcher that the team insists on plugging into the starting rotation, who goes out and hurts himself in some stupid way, thus keeping him off the field indefinitely.  Such is the situation with Royals pitcher John Bale, the only one of KC's 2008 starters who scares me enough that I really never want to see him on the mound.  Brian Bannister has been great, Zack Greinke has been amazing, Gil Meche is starting to come around, Luke Hochevar looks quite good his last two times out, and even Brett Tomko has had a few nice outings.  But John Bale sucks.  So it was nice when he started experiencing "shoulder fatigue," but gosh, it was extra nice of John, right as he's getting to the point where he might be coming back, to go and punch a door and break his pitching hand.  Thanks for taking one for the team, John!  Because as much of a rollercoaster ride as the Tomko express may be, it's still much better than the John Bale stink train.

Now, here's hoping that when Bale is finally ready to pitch again, he does it (a) in AAA, or (b) for another team.

So, I think I failed to come here and declare my love for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, so I'm saying now, oooh, I love that movie!  I do!  Okay, here's the trailer, not because I think anyone hasn't seen it, just because I want to watch it again, and I feel like plugging it into my page here:

Anyway.  I loved pretty much everything about this one.  The cast especially.  I already knew I liked Jason Segel, and I've always liked Mila Kunis.  And though I've always liked Kristen Bell, I just haven't ever seen that much featuring her (aside from her voice in Gossip Girl!).  Well, I like her even more now.  I think she was great here.  And I didn't even know Russell Brand before this, but he was strangely awesome.  Yeah, I thought this was fun.  I did.  I really kinda want to go see it again!  Soon!  Probably my favorite movie in the early going of 2007 so far.

I also saw Baby Mama, just today (well, on Saturday), and I liked it, too.  Not nearly as much as Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I thought it was pretty good.  Not super funny, but it was nice.  I think I'd be pretty happy with anything featuring Tina Fey.  Though I still haven't quite been able to get myself hooked on 30 Rock.  I need to keep trying.  Hmmm.

But yes.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Yay!

This is going to take me forever to type, but it's too good for me to ignore.  In the latest issue of Esquire Magazine, there's an article about Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana.  I have not yet read all of this article, but before I do, I have to give you the paragraph in which the author, Chuck Klosterman, who's pretty great, describes Hannah Montana for the uninitiated.  Here it is:

If you already know Hannah Montana, skip to the next paragraph.  If you don't, here are the pertinent details: She is the most famous teenager in America, which makes her the third or fourth most powerful person in the universe.  Hannah Montana is a highly rated TV show on the Disney network that focuses on a (nonfictional, I guess) pop star named "Hannah Montana," who secretly lives an unassuming life as California citizen "Miley Stewart."  Both roles are played by Miley Cyrus, a likable, enthusiastic vessel who is a) actually named Destiny Hope Cyrus and b) the daughter of country goofosaurus Billy Ray Cyrus, who also portrays her dad on the program.  Besides appearing on TV, Miley Cyrus records and tours as Hannah Montana and succeeds with Madonna-like tenacity.  During concerts in 2007, she would be momentarily replaced onstage with a body double who lip-synched her songs while Cyrus changed clothes.  The body double was a cloned replicant of Cyrus, built with DNA from the singer's saliva and rapidly aged through the unsanctioned, experimental process of hypermaturilization.  She has also toured with the Cheetah Girls.

(After the word "hypermaturilization," there's a little number 1, referring to a footnote that reads, "Author speculation.")

Aaaaaaand, okay, now I've read the whole article, and it's not really all about Hannah Montana, but rather the Hannah Montana phenomenon and how it has become what it is and its relationship to young people and the Internet.  So yeah, the above paragraph was the high point of the article for me.  Because it cracked me up.  It's excellent.  The description of Billy Ray as a goofosaurus is a nice start, and the whole cloned replicant thing is great.  But adding the Cheetah Girls sentence at the end, that was genius.  Well played, Mr. Klosterman.  Nice.

Also, Miley's actual name is so delightfully stupid, I ... can't say anything to mock it.  It does all the work on its own.  It's perfect.  I couldn't have made that one up.  So, so good.

The end.

I just wanted to say, tsk, tsk, Bachelor Matt.  You dismissed my favorite bachelorette last night.  Amanda is cool, but I love Noelle.  She runs her own little photography business, she's smart, beautiful, not afraid to tell you that she has a "grandma" side to her (very endearing to me!), and she's from Colorado!  Sure, she's in California now, but Colorado!  From a city I know, to boot!  And I love her name.  I think she's awesome.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  Tsk.  Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.  But that's okay.  While it was disappointing at the time, it's certainly true that (for the most part), the women who go home early on this show are always the real winners.  So yeah.  Thanks for not coming to America and stealing all our women, Matt.  Thanks for leaving the best one!  Ha, ha.  Funny how, for the most part, I always end up liking the people on that show who seem like they really aren't quite reality show material (a big compliment).

Yes, I know, dorky show.

In other TV news, Gossip Girl really is awesome, and yeah, Blair Waldorf remains my favorite character on TV.  I'm so happy it's back!  Last night's episode was delightfully complex and well-done.

Also, I need to start watching 30 Rock.  Tina Fey is too great for me to not be watching.

AND, it was so nice to have Brothers & Sisters back!  Good show.

And oh!  James Van Der Beek sporting a receding hairline and a Canadian accent on How I Met Your Mother?  I loved it.  AND the return of Robin Sparkles.  Can't ask for more.

Yay for the return of new TV!  We just need more than a few episodes of each show.  Those episodes are going to disappear like THAT.

I was going to post the mp3 of this, but I think I'll go with the video for the song I'm listening to endlessly today:

Tift Merritt!  I love Tift.  And this is my favorite song of hers since her Bramble Rose album (which I looove).  I thought the Tambourine album was good, but yeah, this is what I want from Tift.  I dig it.  Love the lyrics, too.

Yay artists who went to my school when I went there!  She has a Holga in the video, too.  Oooh.

I have now had no sleep whatsoever since ... well, I took about an hour nap yesterday afternoon that ended at 3:30 or so.  But nothing since.  So that's about 19 hours or so?  And no real sleep in about 25 hours.  I knew I was rather alert last night at 4am, but I figured I'd crash once my head hit the pillow.  And I knew I'd had a stomachache all evening, but I didn't really know just why.  I felt pretty crappy all last evening, really.  WELL, now I know what the problem was and is.

It was that McDonald's premium iced coffee I tried for the first time yesterday.  I don't know just how much coffee that guy put into the drink, but wow.  I'm still feeling the effects.  It's rather like torture, ha. I haven't felt the effects of caffeine at all since I was probably less than ten years old.  Coffee never has an effect on me.  I can drink a cup and go right to sleep.  Coke, no problem.  Mountain Dew, king of caffeinated soft drinks, no sweat.  But wow.  This drink has hit me hard.  It's almost like having a reaction to it.  My stomach has just been a mess since 8:00 last night.  I think it hit its worst around 6:00 this morning.  And I have been WIDE AWAKE all night long.  Oh, I tried to sleep.  I lay there for hours and hours, but eventually you make yourself crazy doing that.  So I got up.  Eventually I felt sleepy again, so I tried to sleep again.  Nope.  So now I'm just gonna nap when my body tells me it'll work with me again.  Because this is kinda awful.  And I feeeeel tired, but not sleepy.  I neeeeeeeed to sleep, but I just can't.  I can't BELIEVE I'm still not able to shake the buzz.  Or the churning stomach.

This will be a long day, ha.

First of all, I FINALLY saw my first hummingbird of the year today!  Just one, a male, and he only stayed for a minute, but yeah, I'm excited!

And second, ugh, Parvati is pretty heinous.  And not even 10% as attractive as she seems to think she is.  Blech.

First of all...

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK, BABY.

I believe that's all that needs to be said.  Monday night, DEFINITELY among the best nights of my entire life.  I can't overstate that.  WOO!

But anyway.  Let's talk baseball.  Sara and I have talked a little about the smoov jazz numbers her team and the Dodgers chose for the national anthem on their respective home opening days, and I was wondering what my Royals would do yesterday for their opener against the Yankees.  Well, I don't know who sang the anthem, but I DO know now that Garth Brooks will be leading a round of "Friends In Low Places" at every home game this season.  According to the Kansas City Star, Garth took a few hours recently and recorded several different openings to the song, just to be played during Royals home games.  The Star says he did 20-25 different openings.  So Royals fans will be singing along to that song this season in the 6th inning or whatever.  Sure, seems like a semi-ripoff of the Boston "Sweet Caroline" thing, but pfft, what do I care?  Ha.  I kinda like it.  I'm all for Garth hanging with the Royals.  Why not?

But still, who sang the anthem?  Hmmmm.  I may never know.  Couldn't you kick in just a little early on opening day, Extra Innings?