A likable, enthusiastic vessel.

This is going to take me forever to type, but it's too good for me to ignore.  In the latest issue of Esquire Magazine, there's an article about Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana.  I have not yet read all of this article, but before I do, I have to give you the paragraph in which the author, Chuck Klosterman, who's pretty great, describes Hannah Montana for the uninitiated.  Here it is:

If you already know Hannah Montana, skip to the next paragraph.  If you don't, here are the pertinent details: She is the most famous teenager in America, which makes her the third or fourth most powerful person in the universe.  Hannah Montana is a highly rated TV show on the Disney network that focuses on a (nonfictional, I guess) pop star named "Hannah Montana," who secretly lives an unassuming life as California citizen "Miley Stewart."  Both roles are played by Miley Cyrus, a likable, enthusiastic vessel who is a) actually named Destiny Hope Cyrus and b) the daughter of country goofosaurus Billy Ray Cyrus, who also portrays her dad on the program.  Besides appearing on TV, Miley Cyrus records and tours as Hannah Montana and succeeds with Madonna-like tenacity.  During concerts in 2007, she would be momentarily replaced onstage with a body double who lip-synched her songs while Cyrus changed clothes.  The body double was a cloned replicant of Cyrus, built with DNA from the singer's saliva and rapidly aged through the unsanctioned, experimental process of hypermaturilization.  She has also toured with the Cheetah Girls.

(After the word "hypermaturilization," there's a little number 1, referring to a footnote that reads, "Author speculation.")

Aaaaaaand, okay, now I've read the whole article, and it's not really all about Hannah Montana, but rather the Hannah Montana phenomenon and how it has become what it is and its relationship to young people and the Internet.  So yeah, the above paragraph was the high point of the article for me.  Because it cracked me up.  It's excellent.  The description of Billy Ray as a goofosaurus is a nice start, and the whole cloned replicant thing is great.  But adding the Cheetah Girls sentence at the end, that was genius.  Well played, Mr. Klosterman.  Nice.

Also, Miley's actual name is so delightfully stupid, I ... can't say anything to mock it.  It does all the work on its own.  It's perfect.  I couldn't have made that one up.  So, so good.

The end.